Showing posts with label fourloko. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fourloko. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Four Loko Candle Light Vigil
The Deal: Brown bag a Four Loko
The Place: Union Square
The Price: FREE
The Details: In memory of Four Loko a bunch of punks will be gathering in Union Square this evening and holding a candle light vigil for the soon to be outlawed beverage. Anamanaguchi will be in attendance and have a special acoustic set prepared. Farewell Four Loko, you will be missed.
The Source: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=176804042335623
Breathalyzer Score: .10
The Place: Union Square
The Price: FREE
The Details: In memory of Four Loko a bunch of punks will be gathering in Union Square this evening and holding a candle light vigil for the soon to be outlawed beverage. Anamanaguchi will be in attendance and have a special acoustic set prepared. Farewell Four Loko, you will be missed.
Breathalyzer Score: .10
Four Loko Ditches The Caffeine
Four Loko has caved to the pressure from "The Man" and FDA officials. But instead of killing the product altogether they're pulling a Sparks and removing the caffeine. Remember Sparks? Remember when they removed the caffeine? Have you had one since? Exactly.
I was hoping that Four Loko would take this battle all the way because frankly it's their only chance of survival. They might have eventually won if they hung in there but now, well they're fucked. The taste of a Four Loko is vile, to put it mildly, but people are willing to choke it down because a kick of alcohol and caffeine is a nice way to pre-game. But now we're left with a molten hobo piss flavored malt beverage. There's at least twenty other beer/malt beverages in your average corner store that only mildly taste of piss so why Four Loko ever again?
We here at Booze Party aren't just going to complain though, we're going to solve this dilemma once and for all. Four Loko, here's what you do: Release your caffeine-less booze drink in half size cans. Also release half size cans of Four Loko energy drink without booze. Every flavor will have a boozy version and caffeine version available in the store. Simply purchase your matching pair, mix and viola! Good, old fashioned Four Loko - like grandma used to make. In fact, istead of charging an average price of $2.50 per can, like you do now, you sell each can for $2, so essentially you make an extra $1.50 per purchase. Genius, huh? Evil genius...and you're welcome. Send us 1,000 cases and your finest women.
Colbert Drinks Four Loko "That is like chugging a Duracell battery"
I was hoping that Four Loko would take this battle all the way because frankly it's their only chance of survival. They might have eventually won if they hung in there but now, well they're fucked. The taste of a Four Loko is vile, to put it mildly, but people are willing to choke it down because a kick of alcohol and caffeine is a nice way to pre-game. But now we're left with a molten hobo piss flavored malt beverage. There's at least twenty other beer/malt beverages in your average corner store that only mildly taste of piss so why Four Loko ever again?
We here at Booze Party aren't just going to complain though, we're going to solve this dilemma once and for all. Four Loko, here's what you do: Release your caffeine-less booze drink in half size cans. Also release half size cans of Four Loko energy drink without booze. Every flavor will have a boozy version and caffeine version available in the store. Simply purchase your matching pair, mix and viola! Good, old fashioned Four Loko - like grandma used to make. In fact, istead of charging an average price of $2.50 per can, like you do now, you sell each can for $2, so essentially you make an extra $1.50 per purchase. Genius, huh? Evil genius...and you're welcome. Send us 1,000 cases and your finest women.
Read More:
Assemblyman Felix Ortiz drinks 2.5 cans of Four Loko (Spoiler alert: Hurls)
Colbert Drinks Four Loko "That is like chugging a Duracell battery"
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Thought for Food - C-Zurrrre, Medal of Hunger Winner & Cheesercize<a> | ||||
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Sunday, November 14, 2010
Four Loko Cut Off From New York, Stock Up Now!
It's official, the day we've all been dreading is upon us, Four Loko has essentially been banned in the state of New York. Your personal freedoms have been trampled upon by your elected officials. Under pressure from "The Man" booze distributors have agreed to stop shipments of Four Loko and other caffeinated brews to New York starting November 19th. After that distributors have until December 10th to unload their supplies. Stores will have additional time to offload their supply but by 2011 it'll be pretty tough to get Four Loko in NY.
Governor Paterson himself delivered the terrible news, starting with "New Yorkers deserve to know that the beverages they buy are safe for consumption." See, he leads off by telling us we're all too stupid to figure out that there might be dangers associated with consuming alcohol and caffeine. Well friends, we're safe now from our impending doom.
This is prohibition, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
What now Flynn Flarn?
And in regards to some of the comments I've heard about Four Loko targeting kids I say this: Have you tasted Four Loko? If that's targeted towards kids then someone failed miserably at their job. Kids are picky as fuck about what they eat - if it's not tasty they don't eat or drink it. Four Loko tastes like Gremlin piss mixed with anti-freeze and battery acid. It absolutely does not taste like soda.
We have maybe two-months left before Four Loko prohibition takes full effect. I expect to see Four Loko parties all over NYC. Well, don't just sit there, get to it.
Governor Paterson himself delivered the terrible news, starting with "New Yorkers deserve to know that the beverages they buy are safe for consumption." See, he leads off by telling us we're all too stupid to figure out that there might be dangers associated with consuming alcohol and caffeine. Well friends, we're safe now from our impending doom.
This is prohibition, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
What now Flynn Flarn?
- Stock Up Now: As far as I can tell their is nothing prohibiting the consumption or possession of Four Loko, just the sale. So stock up while you can and keep a few cases handy.
- Go To Jersey: When NY goes dry just take the PATH to Hoboken, it costs like $2, and buy a couple cases to bring back.
- Make Your Own: It's pretty fucking easy dude.
- Go Back To Vodka & Redbull: As bad as Four Loko might be by banning it the Gov is really just pushing people back to vodka-Red Bulls, which are definitely worse for you. They complain about a measly 12% alcohol but now we're going to be dumping vodka, which is 40-50% alcohol, into our energy drinks.
And in regards to some of the comments I've heard about Four Loko targeting kids I say this: Have you tasted Four Loko? If that's targeted towards kids then someone failed miserably at their job. Kids are picky as fuck about what they eat - if it's not tasty they don't eat or drink it. Four Loko tastes like Gremlin piss mixed with anti-freeze and battery acid. It absolutely does not taste like soda.
We have maybe two-months left before Four Loko prohibition takes full effect. I expect to see Four Loko parties all over NYC. Well, don't just sit there, get to it.
Read More:
Friday, November 12, 2010
NY Senator Jeff Klein Hates America, Introduces Bill To Ban Four Loko
You would think that a guy sworn to protect the freedom of American citizens would be against a ban involving basic personal freedom. However, old Kleiny has officially introduced a bill to ban Four Loko and it's caffeinated booze brethren from the great state of New York. The idea of banning adults from drinking a product comprised entirely of legal substances seems to be the opposite of what I've come to know as American freedom.
Mr. Klein, do you really think the adult citizens of New York state are so incompetent that they are incapable of using sound judgment when faced with a can of Four Loko? Are the powers of Four Loko so incredibly foreign and malignant that it corrupts the populace to the extent that government intervention is needed? But the bigger question is this, why outlaw something whose effects can be easily replicated by simply dumping a redbull into a 40oz? Think this one through Kleinstein.
Mr. Klein, do you really think the adult citizens of New York state are so incompetent that they are incapable of using sound judgment when faced with a can of Four Loko? Are the powers of Four Loko so incredibly foreign and malignant that it corrupts the populace to the extent that government intervention is needed? But the bigger question is this, why outlaw something whose effects can be easily replicated by simply dumping a redbull into a 40oz? Think this one through Kleinstein.
Read More:
Schumer is being a dick about it too...
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Washington State Bans Four Loko Too...Fucking Hippies
Washington state joins Michigan on the crusade against Four Loko. Effective November 18th Four Loko will be illegal. They claim the ban is a response to 9 kids being hospitalized after a college party. How many kids are hospitalized after drinking beer and whiskey?
Isn't Washington state a bunch of hippies and lumberjacks? Aren't they all about people having personal freedom out there? I guess the crazed Four Loko kids were harshing their mellow or something.
By the way NYC, good ol' Schumer is trying to ban Loko in New York. Yes sir, the Loko prohibition might hit NY next. Stock up while you still can.
Isn't Washington state a bunch of hippies and lumberjacks? Aren't they all about people having personal freedom out there? I guess the crazed Four Loko kids were harshing their mellow or something.
By the way NYC, good ol' Schumer is trying to ban Loko in New York. Yes sir, the Loko prohibition might hit NY next. Stock up while you still can.
Read More:
When's the last time this old broad got laid?
Friday, November 5, 2010
Michigan Gives Four Loko 30 Days To Get Out
Michigan is the first of what will likely be many states to outlaw Four Loko. The energy infused booze has been given 30 days to clear out. There has been a mass hysteria as of late around Four Loko due to it's strong alcohol content and popularity with college-age kids. News outlets have been giving Four Loko the business for about a month now due to bannings at colleges all over the country.
As you all know, we here at Booze Party are on Team Four Loko. We're Americans and think people should be able to get smashed if they so choose. If you don't support Team Four Loko you don't support freedom and you're probably a commie pinko. Red Bull and vodka is cool but not the Loke? Explain.
This is only the beginning. If you think other states won't follow suit then you are mistaken (Pennsylvania is already working on it). Unfortunately we are weak drunkards with no say and there isn't shit we can do about it...unless it were super easy to make our own Sparks/Four Loko/Joose. Stock up while you still have the chance.
As you all know, we here at Booze Party are on Team Four Loko. We're Americans and think people should be able to get smashed if they so choose. If you don't support Team Four Loko you don't support freedom and you're probably a commie pinko. Red Bull and vodka is cool but not the Loke? Explain.
This is only the beginning. If you think other states won't follow suit then you are mistaken (Pennsylvania is already working on it). Unfortunately we are weak drunkards with no say and there isn't shit we can do about it...unless it were super easy to make our own Sparks/Four Loko/Joose. Stock up while you still have the chance.
Read More:
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Four Loko About To Get Canned
Well kids, Brooklyn's latest incarnation of crack seems to be headed down the path of damnation. Much like it's older, sexier sister Sparks, it appears that Four Loko (and the fat, ugly step-sister Joose) will soon be banned by the government. This means they'll either have to nix the caffeine or close up shop. The press is referring to it as "blackout in a can". I don't know about you but I've blacked out on just about everything so why are we singling out the Loko?
Sparks was somewhat decent tasting and managed to stay on the shelves despite having the caffeine drained and just being weird flavored malt liqour now. Four Loko and Joose have a bigger challenge because, well, they taste like cat piss. With energy and high content alcohol people basically said "I don't give a fuck if it tastes like the bottom of a hobo's piss jar - it fucks me up, son!" But soon it will just be gross ass malt liquor. Let people drink this poison if they so choose. Let America live! FREEDOM!
via LA Times
Sparks was somewhat decent tasting and managed to stay on the shelves despite having the caffeine drained and just being weird flavored malt liqour now. Four Loko and Joose have a bigger challenge because, well, they taste like cat piss. With energy and high content alcohol people basically said "I don't give a fuck if it tastes like the bottom of a hobo's piss jar - it fucks me up, son!" But soon it will just be gross ass malt liquor. Let people drink this poison if they so choose. Let America live! FREEDOM!
via LA Times
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