The Deal: $2 Colt 45; "Other cheap drinks"
The Place: 13 Thames Street, Brooklyn
The Price: $5
The Details: You're probably too old and too square to go to a party like this but if you're curious what the kids are doing these days then go for it. Don't be surprised if everyone there thinks you're a NARC though. This will be super crazy and I promise some insane shit will go down. Tunes by Cool Hand Luke, the WCKids, & Nightspitter.
The Source: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=111228645554536
Breathalyzer Score: .22 (Totally Wasted)
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Twist and Shout
The Deal: Free PBR 12-1AM
The Place: Beauty Bar Brooklyn
The Price: FREE
The Details: If you thought the original Beauty Bar was too spacious and conveniently located then you're in luck! There's another Beauty Bar way the fuck out in Bushwick that's half the size. But since you punks live out there anyway I guess that's good news, eh? Plus, late night weekend open bars are rare so it might be worth the trek even if you're in the city. So go get tanked on PBR and dance to the oldies spun by Twig The Wonderkid.
The Source: going.com/twistandshout
Breathalyzer Score: .13 (Drunk)
The Place: Beauty Bar Brooklyn
The Price: FREE
The Details: If you thought the original Beauty Bar was too spacious and conveniently located then you're in luck! There's another Beauty Bar way the fuck out in Bushwick that's half the size. But since you punks live out there anyway I guess that's good news, eh? Plus, late night weekend open bars are rare so it might be worth the trek even if you're in the city. So go get tanked on PBR and dance to the oldies spun by Twig The Wonderkid.
The Source: going.com/twistandshout
Breathalyzer Score: .13 (Drunk)
Friday, March 19, 2010
100 Prints, 10 Visual Story Tellers Opening
The Deal: Open bar 7:30-9PM
The Place: Warehouse Gallery @ The Pyramid
The Price: FREE
The Details: Do you like prints? Do you like visual story tellers? Shit yeah, bro! Well, then you're in luck chief because this little shindig has 100 prints by 10 visual story tellers! Say what now? And did I mention the booze? Oh, well get this Chester, one and a half hours of all you can drink who-the-fuck-knows-what adult beverages.
The Source: http://www.freenyc.net/calendar/100-prints-by-10-visual-storytellers-opening
Breathalyzer Score: .21 (Totally Wasted)
The Place: Warehouse Gallery @ The Pyramid
The Price: FREE
The Details: Do you like prints? Do you like visual story tellers? Shit yeah, bro! Well, then you're in luck chief because this little shindig has 100 prints by 10 visual story tellers! Say what now? And did I mention the booze? Oh, well get this Chester, one and a half hours of all you can drink who-the-fuck-knows-what adult beverages.
Breathalyzer Score: .21 (Totally Wasted)
What's Crackin'
The Deal: $5 PBR+shot; $6 Bud+Jameson; $6 Tecate+tequila
The Place: Savalas
The Price: FREE
The Details: Cobra Krames, FullTimeFun, & DirtyFinger are on the decks at Savalas tonight. All of those dudes know how to throw a rager so this should be good. The only downside is Savalas is about the size of a midgets asshole and it's on the "douchebag strip."
The Source: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=380043579016
Breathalyzer Score: .18 (Hammered)
The Place: Savalas
The Price: FREE
The Details: Cobra Krames, FullTimeFun, & DirtyFinger are on the decks at Savalas tonight. All of those dudes know how to throw a rager so this should be good. The only downside is Savalas is about the size of a midgets asshole and it's on the "douchebag strip."
Breathalyzer Score: .18 (Hammered)
GERMS
The Deal: Free Sobieski Vodka 11-Gone; $3 PBR all night; "New lower drink prices"
The Place: Europa
The Price: Free w/ RSVP rsvp@germsnyc.com or $10 w/o
The Details: Ahh, Europa...like Greenpoint itself, this joint caters to both dirty hipsters and Polish goons. GERMS is a dance party that appeals to former but don't be surprised if some of the latter stumble in too. We're promised "new lower drink prices" - we'll see how that goes but since you can't pronounce the names of any of the beers there anyway it probably won't matter. With guest DJs Zubi, Michael Cavadias, & Cory Kennedy...yeah, I don't know either.
The Source: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=369237391931
Breathalyzer Score: .16 (Hammered)
The Place: Europa
The Price: Free w/ RSVP rsvp@germsnyc.com or $10 w/o
The Details: Ahh, Europa...like Greenpoint itself, this joint caters to both dirty hipsters and Polish goons. GERMS is a dance party that appeals to former but don't be surprised if some of the latter stumble in too. We're promised "new lower drink prices" - we'll see how that goes but since you can't pronounce the names of any of the beers there anyway it probably won't matter. With guest DJs Zubi, Michael Cavadias, & Cory Kennedy...yeah, I don't know either.
Breathalyzer Score: .16 (Hammered)
Trash
The Deal: $3 PBR; 2-4-1 drinks at 3AM
The Place: The Studio at Webster Hall
The Price: $5 w/flyer; $10 w/o
The Details: Trash has been around for 2,000 years and yet somehow I'm too old to attend now. As always there's a cabaret show, go-go girls, and booze. Normally I wouldn't list this because while the drinks are cheap when you combine that with a cover it can be a pricey night but if you can't figure out how to get into this party for free then you're not trying very hard.
The Source:
Breathalyzer Score: .13 (Drunk)
The Place: The Studio at Webster Hall
The Price: $5 w/flyer; $10 w/o
The Details: Trash has been around for 2,000 years and yet somehow I'm too old to attend now. As always there's a cabaret show, go-go girls, and booze. Normally I wouldn't list this because while the drinks are cheap when you combine that with a cover it can be a pricey night but if you can't figure out how to get into this party for free then you're not trying very hard.
Breathalyzer Score: .13 (Drunk)
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Kai D Launch Party
The Deal: Free wine 6-8PM
The Place: 75 Orchard
The Price: FREE
The Details: A hip fashion line I don't give a shit about is having a Spring launch party. Sounds fancy! Being that it's fancy they have free wine 6-8PM. So stop by, pretend you're going to buy something and get "wine drunk," which of course is the most evil of all drunks.
The Source: http://www.freenyc.net/calendar/kai-d-spring-launch-party
Breathalyzer Score: .20 (Totally Wasted)
The Place: 75 Orchard
The Price: FREE
The Details: A hip fashion line I don't give a shit about is having a Spring launch party. Sounds fancy! Being that it's fancy they have free wine 6-8PM. So stop by, pretend you're going to buy something and get "wine drunk," which of course is the most evil of all drunks.
Breathalyzer Score: .20 (Totally Wasted)
Some Party
The Deal: Well, beer, & wine open bar 8-9PM
The Place: Crash Mansion
The Price: FREE
The Details: Some band from LA (Buddy Akai) is in town and apparently couldn't score a GBH party so instead they're playing at Crash Mansion with a bunch of local bands (Otterclan, Radio America, & more) that sound absolutely nothing like them. The open bar is awesome but really fucking early. Michael T is curating and DJing so this will be worth checking out.
The Source:
Breathalyzer Score: .14 (Drunk)
The Place: Crash Mansion
The Price: FREE
The Details: Some band from LA (Buddy Akai) is in town and apparently couldn't score a GBH party so instead they're playing at Crash Mansion with a bunch of local bands (Otterclan, Radio America, & more) that sound absolutely nothing like them. The open bar is awesome but really fucking early. Michael T is curating and DJing so this will be worth checking out.
The Source:
Breathalyzer Score: .14 (Drunk)
Hot Pursuit
The Deal: $3 "keg beer" and $3 cans
The Place: The Woods
The Price: FREE
The Details: The Woods is a rather awesome new venue down by the bridge. Sure it's a bitch to get to (15 minute walk from train) but it's cheap, they have a yard, and you can eat ($2 tacos and $5 burritos). It's kinda like Union Pool only nicer and with less moron tourists saying, "hey, this is the place from Nick & Norah, right?"
The Source:
Breathalyzer Score: .13 (Drunk)
The Place: The Woods
The Price: FREE
The Details: The Woods is a rather awesome new venue down by the bridge. Sure it's a bitch to get to (15 minute walk from train) but it's cheap, they have a yard, and you can eat ($2 tacos and $5 burritos). It's kinda like Union Pool only nicer and with less moron tourists saying, "hey, this is the place from Nick & Norah, right?"
The Source:
Breathalyzer Score: .13 (Drunk)
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
St. Patty's Day w/ DJ Muggs
The Deal: $5 PBR + shot, $6 Bud + Jameson or Tecate + tequila
The Place: Savalas
The Price: FREE
The Details: It's St. Patrick's Day and you think I'd be excited but let's be honest here - it sucks. Who wants to deal with drunk retards from Jersey and LI swarming the city like vomit and corned beef spewing locusts? I'm hoping that the fucktards stay in Manhattan and if they do then this is a chance to get smashed with the dude who produced House Of Pain's "Jump Around" on St. Patty's Day in Brooklyn.
The Source: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=407922193781
Breathalyzer Score: .14 (Drunk)
The Place: Savalas
The Price: FREE
The Details: It's St. Patrick's Day and you think I'd be excited but let's be honest here - it sucks. Who wants to deal with drunk retards from Jersey and LI swarming the city like vomit and corned beef spewing locusts? I'm hoping that the fucktards stay in Manhattan and if they do then this is a chance to get smashed with the dude who produced House Of Pain's "Jump Around" on St. Patty's Day in Brooklyn.
The Source: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=407922193781
Breathalyzer Score: .14 (Drunk)
This Is St. Patrick's Day
The Deal: $4 Guinness or shots of Powers
The Place: Trophy Bar
The Price: FREE
The Details: The party at Savalas is close enough to the L that it runs the risk of douchebag bleed over from Manhattan. There's no way you have to worry about that at Trophy Bar. Plus they got Guinness for $4 which is a steal for the greatest beer on Earth.
The Source: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=363463450835
Breathalyzer Score: .18 (Hammered)
The Place: Trophy Bar
The Price: FREE
The Details: The party at Savalas is close enough to the L that it runs the risk of douchebag bleed over from Manhattan. There's no way you have to worry about that at Trophy Bar. Plus they got Guinness for $4 which is a steal for the greatest beer on Earth.
Breathalyzer Score: .18 (Hammered)
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
(Pretty) Girls & Lasers
The Deal: Vodka open bar 11-12; 1 Free drink to the first 5 who check-in on FourSquare or Tweet arrival; $50 bar tab raffle.
The Place: Happy Ending
The Price: FREE
The Details: Another new Tuesday party at Happy Ending and this time they've got "more free booze then any other party." The only catch is you gotta be hip to the social media scene (Twitter/FourSquare) or damn lucky (raffles) to get your disgusting mouth on it. Otherwise it's just another dance party with an hour long open bar. ***The fine print: if you check-in on your new iPad you get a hand job from Steve Jobs (not just a clever name).
The Source: FreeNYC.net
Breathalyzer Score: .14 (Drunk)
The Place: Happy Ending
The Price: FREE
The Details: Another new Tuesday party at Happy Ending and this time they've got "more free booze then any other party." The only catch is you gotta be hip to the social media scene (Twitter/FourSquare) or damn lucky (raffles) to get your disgusting mouth on it. Otherwise it's just another dance party with an hour long open bar. ***The fine print: if you check-in on your new iPad you get a hand job from Steve Jobs (not just a clever name).
Breathalyzer Score: .14 (Drunk)
Three Sheets Brooklyn
The Deal: $1 off all beer
The Place: Diamond Bar
The Price: FREE
The Details: Zane Lamprey of Three Sheets fame is stopping by little old Diamond Bar in Greenpoint. Word is he's only hanging out for one hour (6:30-7:30PM) but the dude knows how to party so it should be good times.
Breathalyzer Score: .10 (Tipsy)
The Place: Diamond Bar
The Price: FREE
The Details: Zane Lamprey of Three Sheets fame is stopping by little old Diamond Bar in Greenpoint. Word is he's only hanging out for one hour (6:30-7:30PM) but the dude knows how to party so it should be good times.
Breathalyzer Score: .10 (Tipsy)
Todd & Harrison's Tuesday Night Disco
The Deal: Free Absinthe 9-10PM
The Place: Glasslands
The Price: $7
The Details: The thing about disco is...it sucks, but on the plus side there's going to be a ton of broads and the free booze means they'll be drunk. So at least there's that - ya creep.
The Source: MyOpenBar
Breathalyzer Score: .16 (Hammered)
The Place: Glasslands
The Price: $7
The Details: The thing about disco is...it sucks, but on the plus side there's going to be a ton of broads and the free booze means they'll be drunk. So at least there's that - ya creep.
Breathalyzer Score: .16 (Hammered)
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