It's official, the day we've all been dreading is upon us, Four Loko has essentially been banned in the state of New York. Your personal freedoms have been trampled upon by your elected officials. Under pressure from "The Man" booze distributors have agreed to stop shipments of Four Loko and other caffeinated brews to New York starting November 19th. After that distributors have until December 10th to unload their supplies. Stores will have additional time to offload their supply but by 2011 it'll be pretty tough to get Four Loko in NY.
Governor Paterson himself delivered the terrible news, starting with "New Yorkers deserve to know that the beverages they buy are safe for consumption." See, he leads off by telling us we're all too stupid to figure out that there might be dangers associated with consuming alcohol and caffeine. Well friends, we're safe now from our impending doom.
This is prohibition, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
What now Flynn Flarn?
- Stock Up Now: As far as I can tell their is nothing prohibiting the consumption or possession of Four Loko, just the sale. So stock up while you can and keep a few cases handy.
- Go To Jersey: When NY goes dry just take the PATH to Hoboken, it costs like $2, and buy a couple cases to bring back.
- Make Your Own: It's pretty fucking easy dude.
- Go Back To Vodka & Redbull: As bad as Four Loko might be by banning it the Gov is really just pushing people back to vodka-Red Bulls, which are definitely worse for you. They complain about a measly 12% alcohol but now we're going to be dumping vodka, which is 40-50% alcohol, into our energy drinks.
The fact is that Four Loko is gross. I openly admit this fact. The problem with all this is that Four Loko is comprised of legal ingredients, the effects of which can be easily replicated in several ways. Stores will continue to sell energy drinks with dangerously high caffeine levels and they will also continue to sell a variety of sweet boozy drinks that have a ton of booze in them. People have been mixing booze and caffeine long before Four Loko and will continue to do so long after.
And in regards to some of the comments I've heard about Four Loko targeting kids I say this: Have you tasted Four Loko? If that's targeted towards kids then someone failed miserably at their job. Kids are picky as fuck about what they eat - if it's not tasty they don't eat or drink it. Four Loko tastes like Gremlin piss mixed with anti-freeze and battery acid. It absolutely does not taste like soda.
We have maybe two-months left before Four Loko prohibition takes full effect. I expect to see Four Loko parties all over NYC. Well, don't just sit there, get to it.
Read More:
