The Deal: Malibu Open Bar 10:30-11:30
The Place: Sway
The Price: ???
The Details: A party devoted to a movie from the 90's...because the 90's are cool again. The only way I would even consider drinking Malibu is if it was free and even then I don't think I could stomach more than one. "If you're gonna spew, spew into this" - sorry, wrong 90's alt rock movie. With Alex English, Pebbles Van Peebles and more.
The Deal: Vodka Open Bar 11:30-12 & 1-1:30pm
The Place: Home Sweet Home
The Price: FREE
The Details: I don't know who DJ Crush Dream is but I like that his goal is to crush people's dreams. We have that in common.
The Deal: Pisco Porton Open Bar 11pm-???
The Place: Bedlam
The Price: Free?
The Details: Holy shit! Snake Child is DJing? Yeah, buddy! Wait, I have no idea who this dude is but I really like the name DJ Snake Child. Also DJing are RPEG and Jique, who's names I'm not so fond of. Oh, also some dude named Justin The Jew is the photograph, also a good name. That's all the insight I got here. Sorry. This is why I'm considered an expert on nightlife, put that in your pipe and smoke it. I'm high on oven cleaner.
The Deal: Vodka Open Bar 9-9:15 & 12-12:15
The Place: Kush
The Price: FREE
The Details: The good news is there's two open bars. The bad news is they're only 15 minutes each and the second one happens during the open mic session, which has to be awful. Oh well, free booze son!
The Deal: Free booze, maybe?
The Place: House Of Vans
The Price: Free, must RSVP
The Details: Converge is playing the House of Vans tonight. Most of the time it seems like they have free booze at these things but who knows. This could easily turn into a shit show.
20 Percent of Central New York Adults Binge Drink (Syracuse.com): That's it? You need to step it up Central New York, pussies. You live in the woods, what the hell else is there to do out there?
Mom Gave Baby Sitter & Teen Booze & Pot (chron.com): Some broad in Connecticut gave her 20-year old baby sitter and a 14-year old booze and reefer. Then the 20-year old "sexually assaulted" the 14-year old. When I was 14 I would have killed to be in this kids shoes. Free pot, booze and a hummer from a 20-year old? That sounds fantastic.
Looking For Revenue? Tax Booze (HuffingtonPost.com): Basically they're thinking about changing the way booze is taxed and it would mean the price of booze would go WAY fucking up. Fuck these people. All of this is prompted by the debt issues across the nation. Look, I wanna get drunk on the cheap and Buffett wants you to tax his rich ass. So leave my booze alone. Dicks.
Brooklyn Bodega Owners Caught Selling Booze To Minors (NYDailyNews.com): Let me tell you something - the city sends kids into bars and delis with flawless fake IDs that can only be detected by scanners. So this is bullshit. I'm sure there are plenty of shady bodegas selling kids beer but these busts are garbage.