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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Four Loko About To Get Canned

Well kids, Brooklyn's latest incarnation of crack seems to be headed down the path of damnation. Much like it's older, sexier sister Sparks, it appears that Four Loko (and the fat, ugly step-sister Joose) will soon be banned by the government. This means they'll either have to nix the caffeine or close up shop. The press is referring to it as "blackout in a can". I don't know about you but I've blacked out on just about everything so why are we singling out the Loko?

Sparks was somewhat decent tasting and managed to stay on the shelves despite having the caffeine drained and just being weird flavored malt liqour now. Four Loko and Joose have a bigger challenge because, well, they taste like cat piss. With energy and high content alcohol people basically said "I don't give a fuck if it tastes like the bottom of a hobo's piss jar - it fucks me up, son!" But soon it will just be gross ass malt liquor. Let people drink this poison if they so choose. Let America live! FREEDOM!

via LA Times

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